Einstein Disease (Aired 08-27-2025): Quit Alcohol for Good: Vanessa Lagoa’s Sobriety Playbook | Einstein’s Diseas

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to Einstein's Disease. Through real world insights and powerful conversations with industry leaders, we help you break past limitations and rethink success. Are you ready to push the boundaries of what's possible? [00:00:16] Speaker B: Hello, my name is Greg Ehlers and I'm your co host of Einstein's Disease. Joining me today is my co host, Kenzie Terpstra. Kenzie, how are you doing today? [00:00:26] Speaker C: I'm doing well, Greg, how are you? [00:00:28] Speaker B: I'm doing just fine. It's. It's summertime and there's a lot of things going on. I think we have, we have. We've got a great show today and, and it really kind of plays into a lot of elements before. Before we get into the fall with respect to people checking where they are as a human. So I'm really excited with our guest today. [00:00:50] Speaker C: Absolutely. I totally. A little bit different, but in a really great way compared to the other guests we've had on recently. [00:00:57] Speaker B: Absolutely. I think our audience is going to enjoy today's show. So with that, I'd like to introduce our guest, Vanessa Lagoa. She's a certified recovery coach and the founder of the Sobriety Buzz. A true hope dealer, she is on a mission to help people break limiting narratives, realign their power, and live with clarity and purpose. With her background as a successful entrepreneur and salon owner, she knows firsthand what it takes to turn challenges into triumph. Vanessa, welcome to the show today. [00:01:26] Speaker A: Thank you both for having me. I appreciate you taking the time to talk about what I think is very important. [00:01:33] Speaker B: Well, and we do as well, Vanessa. And I think it's really prescient, really, 365 days a year. But as people start to refocus their perspective into the fall, kids going back to school, maybe focus back on work and things like that, everybody takes a bit of a pause and realizes some of the things that are going on in their lives. And the Sobriety Buzz and what you do is extremely important. And getting into that element of that, Vanessa, I think it's important for you to frame because Einstein's disease is elementary in everybody's lives and definitely elementary in the era of disease. Right. People think they've got something under control, they don't need help, or maybe they're able to find a cure amongst them just within themselves. And that doesn't necessarily work. So it'd be great for you to kind of share a little bit about the disease element and the lens for which you see people being challenged that make it difficult for and a positive outcome without a solution that we'll Talk about in the next block. [00:02:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:54] Speaker A: So when, in terms of sobriety and in terms of people struggling, and I love that you've mentioned this time of year as a time of sort of reflection, because I. I totally agree that for me, September is a new beginning. It is, you know, back to school. It's a time to, you know, before the holiday madness comes in. It's a. It's a really good time of year to do a little bit of self reflection. So in terms of people struggling, say, with their drinking or drugging or some type of addiction, it is a great time to sit down and really reflect. So typically, the people that I work with are people who are struggling with their drinking habits. They may refer to themselves as alcoholics. They may just be people who are looking to change their relationship with alcohol. And, you know, typically when they come to me, they've tried other things that have not worked for them. So it's a. It's a way to sort of sit down and. And say, like, what have you tried? Where are you struggling? What has worked? What hasn't worked? And then we come up with strategies to really just improve their lives. You know, I often tell people that being an alcoholic or a problem drinker has very little to do with the actual substance, alcohol. It's a lot more of an internal struggle that we really try to get to the root of. [00:04:29] Speaker B: And from that standpoint, the way that you frame that, and I appreciate that bifurcating the two. When you have people approach you and it's like everything, once you admit it, you're part of the way there. But it's very hard to actually take on the task, to find an element of recovery, share with the audience a little bit about. There's obviously commonalities in what people have in terms of, I don't have a problem or I don't think that's me, et cetera. You know what, when you. When people in our audience might be watching or listening and maybe they struggle with some of that. [00:05:18] Speaker A: What. [00:05:18] Speaker B: What is it that you hear the most of with people? What is it that they hear very. That's a very common issue that maybe is something that prolongs people in their fight to find sobriety or the fight to find that. What. What do you hear quite often in terms, what I would call an Einstein's disease, where people think they've got things under control. [00:05:46] Speaker A: So before I answer that question, one of the things you just said prompted me to say, you know, when you like, I will joke with people and say, it's like GI Joe. Knowing is only half the battle, right? So once you know, like you say, you're halfway there, but just simply being aware and not changing any of your lifestyle or adopting new healthy habits, you're now aware that you have a problem, but you have no solution. So that being said, I think that the typical person that I will help guide and work with is somebody who is much like the way that I was. I am going on six and a half years sober. And prior to stopping drinking alcohol, I lived a really normal life. I was never stealing my grandmother's jewelry to pay for a habit. I have a business, I live in a beautiful home. My life is seemingly fine. So I was really hiding in plain sight. And I wasn't the picture of what you would think an alcoholic was. I was quite the contrary, living a wonderful life. And that is the typical demographic of people that I work with. Because what they are experiencing is a life that is not necessarily falling apart. It's just they have this internal battle and they, they're struggling with their drinking and they know that their life could be better if they stop drinking, but they don't have any healthy coping mechanisms to help them get there. A lot of these people are living the suburban mom lifestyle. They're going to their kids activities and they're vacationing and they're having a really seemingly wonderful life. But there's like this chain that's locking them in really to their own mind. So, you know, being able to help people identify that they're not alone and that just because things look okay from the outside does not necessarily mean that there isn't a problem or, or there's just not a better lifestyle waiting if they make the decision to stop drinking? [00:08:10] Speaker B: No, I hear you. Do you, do you see as. [00:08:17] Speaker A: The. [00:08:17] Speaker B: Baby boomer generation and we're kind of in a quote, unquote pig in the python of a lot of people 50 to 70. Are you seeing a lot more elderly? I consider myself elderly with associating themselves or recognizing a drinking problem because they've retired or, you know, they're kind of, maybe they're being aged out of their careers and things like that. Are you seeing an uptick in that? [00:08:47] Speaker A: Unfortunately, I think that the, that generation of people, first of all, I find them to be much more private in their personal matters, which typically a drinking problem people consider a personal matter. So unfortunately, I feel like a lot of that population is suffering in silence, whereas I find the younger generation is more open to talking about some of the issues around drinking and they're like when I came out and said, listen, I have a drinking problem, I'm not going to be drinking anymore. Some of the older people in my life were almost like, oh my gosh, don't talk about that. Like, don't let people know that there was this stigma around. Like, oh my God. You know, I do tend to think that my parents sometimes are a little bit horrified that I, that I'm so public about the problems I had. You know, I'm, I'm not proud of some of the things that I had done. But I'm, I am open to sharing. You know, I used to drink and drive. I did it. There were other things, things that I'm not proud of. But I, I speak to that now because I don't live that way anymore. And I feel like if somebody can identify with that and say like, okay, so she does understand, you know. But I do feel like that younger generation is more open to change and more open to talking about those things where I think that that 50 to 70 year old population is much more private. Which is why the work I do is an asset to those people because it is a one on one. You know, we do a lot of remote work and there's a lot of privacy in that matter for people who still sort of live under that stigma. [00:10:41] Speaker B: No, absolutely. [00:10:44] Speaker C: Sorry Greg, didn't mean to interrupt you there. [00:10:46] Speaker B: That's okay. [00:10:48] Speaker C: Vanessa, thank you so much for sharing that. I guess I never would have thought about how different generations may address something like that. Which you saying it, it makes complete sense just knowing I am Gen Z, I'm on the older end of Gen Z and seeing how myself and the people around me behave and act versus older generations. And that was just never something that I've ever really thought of is how the different generations handle something such as addiction and seeking help and being able to find that help. I think this is a great spot for us to leave off with this first block. We are going to take a quick break and we will be right back with more from Vanessa. Welcome back to Einstein's Disease. Loving what you're watching. Don't miss a moment of Einstein's Disease or any of your favorite NOW Media TV shows. Live or on demand, anytime anywhere. Download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS and enjoy instant access to our full lineup of bilingual programming available in both English and Spanish. Prefer to listen on the go catch the podcast version of the show right on the Now Media website at www.now now media tv. From business and breaking news to lifestyle, culture and everything in between. Now media TV is streaming 24. 7. Ready whenever you are. Welcome back to Einstein's Disease. I am Kenzie Terpstro. I'm joined today with my co host Greg Ellers, and also Vanessa Lagoa, who is a sobriety coach. And so to our viewers, if you caught this first segment of this episode that we have with Vanessa, we left off on a really interesting topic, and that is the difference between generations and how they either address or talk about or begin to talk about having something like an addiction. And I'm sure that goes across many different topics than just addiction. But Vanessa, I wanted to jump back into where we left off there specifically and just can you share with us how it's a little bit different working with people from, say, an older generation versus a younger generation and even whether that is admitting the problem and finding the solutions to it? [00:13:10] Speaker A: Sure. So I think one of the most beautiful things that we have is, you know, the Internet and all these social platforms because certain platforms speak to certain demographics better than others. So I am very active on TikTok under the same name, the Sobriety Buzz. And I, I post a lot of content on Tick Tock, just about getting sober or early sobriety or tips and tricks or things that can, that people can relate to. I do share some, you know, tidbits of personal experience just to, to help people identify better on that platform. It's a much younger to, I would say anywhere from like 18 to maybe early 40s, probably primarily 20s and 30s. And the majority of people on that platform are, are watching. And I get a lot more private messaging there because people are maybe not necessarily wanting to put their business out there, but they're, you know, looking for a little guidance. They're looking for a little bit of reassurance that they can do this too. I think the beauty of the Sobriety Buzz is it is a virtual platform. I mean, that's 90% of the way that it works because we can, we can connect just like this on a zoom platform and people who are in maybe a little bit of an older demographic, which I, I am there too. So I'm over 40 and I think that there are, because of that stigma, there are still a lot of people who prefer privacy. And that platform allows for a one on one type of situation. And people I find that are anywhere 40 and up are much more comfortable in that regard. I will never discount AA as a program. That is a 12 step program. That is how I initially stopped drinking. But again, even though it's an anonymous platform. There's still that feeling when you walk in, especially for the first few times that, I mean, I remember going to one of my first meetings and seeing somebody that I was an acquaintance with and I almost left because I was, I was horrified. I'm like, oh my God, now this person's going to know and he's going to tell his wife and then everybody's going to know that I have this problem while I was forgetting that everyone was there for the very same reason. So, you know, there are, there are really a lot of different platforms and different avenues that can help people get sober. But there's a definite differentiation in those age groups. [00:16:06] Speaker C: Absolutely. I can only imagine with that. I would say that the older people that I know probably would think that there are less avenues for that, same as you. I mean, they would most likely go to AA and have that same interaction opinion. Wait, wait a minute, know me, I don't want them to know me. And so by the sound of it, it sounds like you use community within what you're doing and your platform. And so when you are working with clients that come to you, how exactly do you get that ball rolling? Especially with somebody that may be more self aware and they, they know that they have a problem and they may even know what the problem is stemming from, but they just still do not have a healthy relationship with alcohol. How do you navigate that? [00:16:59] Speaker A: So again, one of the first things that I talk about with people are, is what are their goals? Why do they want to see, stop drinking? What is it? What is the life that they're living now look like and what does their dream life look like? And we sort of design, you know, we, we map out where they are and where they want to go. And then I look at it as my job is to be the guide to get them there. I'm like the gps, right? So I'm going to help them get to where they want to be. Now that being said, just like a GPS or a map, there are multiple ways to get to the same end, but it's really taking into account what is important to somebody. And one thing that I see often in people is that they want to stop. They don't have healthy coping mechanisms and their brain goes back to old programming. So a lot of what we work on has very little to do with alcohol or drinking. And it has a lot to do with sort of reprogramming the mind, rewiring the mind and shifting a mindset. So I often hear myself telling people that if Your mindset tells you that you have to give this thing up to get to this better life. You're sort of getting in your own way. And if you can adopt the mindset that you get to, you get this chance to rewrite your story, to rewrite your life, and you get to. You get another chance, it sort of becomes exciting for people, you know, that you don't have to stay stuck in this old program of, I want to stop, but I can't, or I don't know how, or I've tried this. It's like, well, let's think of something new. And usually initially, people are really struggling because it's very overwhelming. And when you're giving up a solution to a problem and. And the problem would be that you're either trying to escape yourself, you're looking for peace. You' you're not comfortable in your own being. And when you simply remove alcohol, we're removing a solution. It's a bad solution, but it is a solution. So in its place, we need to adopt healthier, healthier coping mechanisms. [00:19:27] Speaker C: And so I'm sure this is completely case by case. And not everybody's the same, and everybody has different lived experiences and things going on in their life. But in regards to coping mechanisms, what are a couple of the first ones that you try to integrate when you're working with a new client? [00:19:47] Speaker A: Just. [00:19:50] Speaker C: Better way of framing that would be what are some of the mechanisms that you see the most success with when you bring. [00:20:00] Speaker A: So one of the things that I sort of explain and teach to, which I don't necessarily think is typical, is a lot of times people have an addiction, but they also have bad habits. And what I mean when I say that is people are accustomed to, say, working nine to five, coming home, preparing dinner. As they're preparing dinner, they're reaching for, you know, say, a bottle of wine or a beer or a drink. And while I think it is important to break the habits, I think we focus first on breaking the addiction. And so what I mean by that is, if you're accustomed to that type of a routine, I suggest that people come home, they do exactly as they're accustomed to, and they have a simple alternative. Instead of pouring a glass of wine, they're making a mocktail. Instead of having a beer, they're grabbing, I don't know, seltzer water, and they're. They're making some fun something. And that is not a solution for alcoholism. It's simply a way to focus on one thing at a time and the changing the Adding this, the chemical to your body is I think, the most important. So removing that, but not trying to all of a sudden say, I'm going to stop drinking, I'm going to eat healthy and I'm going to go to the gym. And all these things coming at once can be way too overwhelming for people. So I kind of say, let's start small like that. And that actually gives people a lot of relief because it's like they're just doing this one. I don't want to say simple thing. It's not an easy undertaking to stop drinking alcohol, but it doesn't change everything so drastically. But it is starting to remove. So that's always a suggestion that I'll. [00:21:47] Speaker C: Make. [00:21:49] Speaker A: And it gives somebody some small morsel of excitement. I will send people mocktail recipes or something fun or easy. And while they're undergoing this massive change, it's something. It's a glimmer, right? It's something small to give them some. Something to have a little bit of joy in for sure. [00:22:11] Speaker C: Something to look forward to and know that it's a small change, but it's better. And so when through all of this, what would be something that you've learned from it? Not related. It could be related to your own personal journey, but just life? What have you learned about people or addiction or drinking through this? What's the one big thing that really has kind of changed your mindset since you started doing this? [00:22:39] Speaker A: I think that the most important thing is that we all have a struggle. Whether it be a drink, a drug, a sex addiction, gambling, shopping, we all have struggle. And the majority of those struggles come from the very same place. So I think when people feel seen and heard in that respect, that, hey, like, I get it, I understand. And I. So I guess the biggest thing would be empathy is so important. And for me, I think the most important thing is accepting and learning that my greatest struggles have turned into my purpose. So I've tried to really shift from, wow, that sucked. That was a really hard time to, I'm gonna take that and I'm going to help other people navigate difficult times in their own life. Life. [00:23:35] Speaker C: Incredible. Yeah. What a crazy mind shift. And that just across I'm sure many aspects of life, beyond addiction is just really just changing your mindset and the way that you look at things. And instead of, this is happening to me, instead it's, I can do this or I have the ability to do this, as you've said. And so this has been awesome. You've given us tons of insight Greg, did you have anything you wanted to throw in before we close out this segment? [00:24:00] Speaker B: No. You. You really. You knocked it out of the park there, the two of you. I really. I think that was really, really an important segment because the introspection that you provided, both of you, is something that I know our viewers and listeners appreciate. [00:24:17] Speaker C: I absolutely agree. Well, then, on that note, we will jump off for another quick break, and we will be right back with more Einstein's Disease with Vanessa Lagoa. [00:24:30] Speaker B: Hi, this is Greg Ehlers. Welcome back to Einstein's Disease. I'm a co host along with Kenzie Terpstrom. We're honored to have Vanessa Lagoa with us today. And, Vanessa, that last segment was really rich in a lot of information on the solution side for people, and I think that you and Kenzie really parsed out some really important aspects in this block. I'd like to touch upon the element of family, because whether you're a father or a mother with children and responsibilities, addiction can and does have a lot of impact on that family structure. And it takes a lot. Sometimes it can really take milestone events before there's an acknowledgment or a willingness to accept the fact that you might lose everything or maybe you've lost everything that you need to change your ways. But on the solution side, if you could share a little bit about that, the family structure and how that works, because even if there's been a disrepair to the family and it's been firmly broken, everybody always still wants to have a relationship with their mother or their father or their child. If you could just kind of share some of the solutions that you work through and some of the challenges that you've seen and how those have been overcome. [00:26:04] Speaker A: Sure. So everybody knows somebody who has battled with some form of addiction, and it's a. You know, I struggle with. I struggle with still. Whether the idea of whether I believe that being an alcoholic or being a problem drinker is an actual disease, that's something I. I really still struggle with. But regardless, it's something that is. That impacts the person who is drinking or drugging, and it also impacts those who they love. It impacts their relationships, oftentimes at work, with friendships. It is definitely something that is not something that you struggle with alone. In terms of family, in my experience and in a lot of the people that I speak with, it's much easier for me as the person struggling to deny or, you know, sort of minimize a problem. It tends to be a lot easier for those on the outside looking in who are close to diagnose a problem. You know, many times people in my life had made mention of my drinking being a problem and all. You know, there were a million different. Different situations that were brought up to sort of showcase and highlight see why this is a problem. And. And I was in such a state of denial. And I think that the denial really came from knowing if I accepted, I had to do something about it. So when I finally stopped drinking and I made the decision to go to aa, I went to the AA website, and there was a brief quiz that sort of, you know, took an inventory of your drinking and problems surrounding it. And being the overachiever that I am, I scored about 100 on that and was like, oh, wow, that. Look at how fantastic that is. I'm a perfect alcoholic. And so I found myself in the halls of aa and when I went initially, I told nobody. I felt like I was living this secret life, because it wasn't necessarily out of shame. It was more that if I told, say, my husband or my best friends or my parents that I was going to walk into AA because I knew I had a problem. And if I did that and told them and I could not stop, I felt like I was making it clear that I loved alcohol more than I loved my family. And that was not the case. So I chose to secretly seek help. I think that it is very difficult when you're a spouse, a mother, to put yourself first and to say, hey, listen, I've got this problem, and I really need to focus on getting better, because it feels selfish. And a lot of people will say that the root of alcoholism is selfishness. And so you've already been living this chaotic lifestyle that your family is. Is witness to, and now you're saying, oh, but now I'm the problem, and I need the help, and I need you to be patient with me. So there's a. There's a real internal struggle when you decide to make this decision. That being said, when I did come out and say, hey, I have this problem, I've been seeking help, I was met with a lot of support. And I think that's because I recognized that not only would my life improve if I made this decision, but it was going to trickle into my family. The. You know, there was a lot of chaos that ensued before I stopped, but my husband had sent me a text message, and I think about it almost every day, and it was right in the end of my drinking. And he sent me a message that said, I knew it was only a matter of time before the alcohol caught up to us. And I replay that often because I knew at that point that this was not something that developed overnight and this was affecting him, it was affecting our relationship, and it was affecting, you know, how my children saw me. So now I'm more reliable, I'm more trustworthy, I am more present with my family. And you know, in turn, I feel like I'm raising a better family. I'm raising, you know, I'm emulating a marriage that I would want my children to have and, and things have improved significantly. [00:30:49] Speaker B: You know, that's, that's a. Speaking from experience on some of those levels, I can, I can associate especially with my spouse, my children's mother. That was a huge element. And it's the, it's the hardest to come out and make that acknowledgment because you don't know how everybody's going to react. And as you stated, you were met with a lot of support and it's a great story that you were able to overcome that as you did. When you think about the continuum ahead, not only for yourself, but others, what, what do you see as the. Because once you've, you, you may have those struggles daily, weekly or monthly, but the further that you move into becomes a different type of recovery that you're in because you're not in the same recovery of trying to just stay away. You're in the recovery of staying healthy and prolonged. Do you have certain solutions or things that you help your 2, 3, 5, 10 year recovering people? Is there, do you see a continuum in different things that they do, and if so, what, what are some of the successful continuums that you either advise or have seen? [00:32:26] Speaker A: So self reflection is always the first, most important and quite honestly, most frustrating because I would. People want quick solutions. People want to be told, like, if you do exactly this, you'll stay sober, you'll remain sober, you won't think about drinking. Where the reality is, while it's different for everybody, many of us do. I, I find myself still thinking sometimes like, man, I could use a drink. And that's where I stop myself. And I do a lot of, you know, internal coaching and what I tell people often is nobody who has some length of sobriety regrets it. Not one person that I know says, man, I wish I, I had that past weekend drunk. They just don't. And it's, it's that reminding yourself that, you know, if somebody says, but I really want to drink, I'm so stressed out. Right? It's, it's that Having that conversation, like, okay, why do you think that having a drink is going to de stress you? And, and really just walking through the steps? Because usually like I, it's that old program, it's that I'm stressed, I need a drink, I want a reward, I, I deserve a drink. Or all these things that we have, these ideas around alcohol that we've adopted and it's a lot of just breaking those down and reminding ourselves that you don't, you know, you get to be sober, you get to live your life in a more authentic, healthy way. So a lot of internal talk and a lot of reaching out when you're feeling alone is key. You know, whether it's an online forum or calling a friend or going to a meeting or getting a recovery coach, it's that being aware and continuing to practice. I always say that sobriety is a continued practice. It's not something that you get and you have and you get to keep. It's. You need to work on it. [00:34:32] Speaker B: No, absolutely. Yeah. I've never heard anybody say, I wish I woke up hungover today. [00:34:41] Speaker A: Right? It doesn't happen. Nobody says, man, I wish I had had that weekend and didn't remember all of it because I drank too much. You know, it just doesn't happen. And when you're going into it, you, it is so overwhelming to think that I can never have a drink again and how am I going to be fun and how am I going to do this? And you feel, fail to remind yourself that all I tell people often you're giving up one thing to get so much more. And because you haven't had that, you can't imagine it yet. But once you have it, I'm not giving up everything I've gained for that one thing that really serves me no purpose. [00:35:20] Speaker B: Absolutely. Pretty powerful segment there, Kenzie. [00:35:24] Speaker C: Yeah, no kidding. Vanessa, it takes a lot of courage and self awareness and obviously you are a master of your own mind and have thought and talked about this a million times. And so I just wanted to say thank you for sharing everything like that. It takes a lot to talk about your own problems and it's incredible that you, A, in the first place reflected on all that and thought, why can't I help other people now? But B, that you continue to do that six and a half years down the road. [00:35:52] Speaker A: Thank you. That's my purpose now. [00:35:55] Speaker B: And with that, we will cut away to our commercial sponsors and be back to close out our segment with Vanessa Lagoa. Vanessa, thank you. [00:36:06] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:36:11] Speaker C: Welcome back to Einstein's Disease loving what you're watching. Don't miss a moment of Einstein's Disease or any of your favorite NOW Media TV shows, live or on demand, anytime, anywhere. Download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS and enjoy instant access to our full lineup of bilingual programming available in both English and Spanish. Prefer to listen on the Go catch the podcast version of the show right on the Now Media TV website at www.nowmedia.tv. from business and breaking news to lifestyle, culture and everything in between, now media TV is streaming 24. 7 ready whenever you are. Welcome back to Einstein's Disease. I'm Kenzie Terpstra. I'm joined today with Greg Ellers, my co host, as well as Vanessa Lagoa, who is a sobriety coach and also sober herself. I hope that all of our viewers have been watching the last three segments of this show. It has been absolutely incredible. Vanessa has shared a lot, not just on her business and being a coach, but also on her own life and journey and how exactly she kind of fell into this sobriety coach position, for lack of a better word. And so if you're familiar with Einstein's disease, you're probably familiar with how we kind of do things here. And so we want to take this last segment to really just get to know Vanessa and what exactly you do, what your hobbies, life path sort of thing. And so I would presume that this probably wasn't on your bingo card of life that you 10 years ago probably weren't like, yeah, I'm going to be a sobriety coach. And so what did you do before? What did you want to be when you grew up, for lack of better word. [00:37:57] Speaker A: Oh, that's so funny. So, no, I never sought out to be sober. In fact, when I was getting sober, prior to getting sober, when I was in active drinking and, you know, living my life, I was guilty of saying and actually meaning that I would rather shave years off my life than give up drinking. And when I think about that now, I, I am. So it's still bewildering to me that I'm. Because I didn't know anything different. So I really believed that. So I've always been a people person. I, I laugh. I have friends who are like, oh, I'm so over peopleing and I, I don't want to people and, and I just can't identify with that because I have a genuine passion for people and I want to hear your stories and I want to see what lights your fire and, and help guide people in that way. So people. People are my passion. And when I was drowning in early sobriety and miserable, no, I never imagined that what was one of the most difficult, challenging times in my life was going to actually turn into one of the greatest blessings. I still feel really corny when I say that, but, you know, I would sit in these meetings early on and hear people be like, you know, I'm so. And so I'm a grateful alcoholic. And God, being an alcoholic's been so amazing. And I'm like, I must be in the wrong building, because if you're feeling how I'm feeling, I am not grateful. It was such a dismal time. But yes, I would say now with certainty that getting a hold of my drinking problem was one of the best things that ever happened to me because I'm, in turn able to help other people. When I get messages or cards or letters from people, you know, thanking me for helping guide them to a better life, I save every one of them. They. They're. They're such meaningful parts of my life now. Yeah, it's. It's been a. It's been a wonderful thing. And. And I'm getting ready to. I'm organizing and getting ready to host my first seminar in person. And it's. My shift has been gone morph just from the sobriety coaching to just sort of mindset shifting and coaching in that respect. So I'm excited about that. I like helping people 100. [00:40:28] Speaker C: We need more people like that in the world, if we're all being completely honest here. And so what did you do before this? I believe you were a salon boutique owner. [00:40:38] Speaker A: I am. So I've been a hairdresser for more than 20 years now. I do own a hair salon that's been going. October makes eight years. So I, again, I get to pursue my passion of people. I get to make people look good and feel good. And so I've been doing that for quite some time. And I. I sort of have dabbled in all kinds of things throughout my adult life. I was a vocational school teacher at one point teaching cosmetology, which I also loved, but realized that I don't like to be told what to do with my own time. And so my husband and I had this great conversation because I won't say argument when I decided to leave that job because he's like, I don't understand, like, it's such a cushy job. What are you leaving? And I'm like, I can't go out to lunch with my friends on a Tuesday and it's just not going to work out for me. So, you know, I. I'm a lover of life. I always say that, you know, life is not a dress rehearsal. We get one chance at this thing we call life. And so I am a firm believer in enjoying your life. And I don't want to work a 9 to 5. That doesn't feel fulfilling to me. So I tend to try all kinds of different things to pursue, you know, whatever lights my fire. [00:42:00] Speaker C: Absolutely, I completely agree. Just get out of the rat race at least once in a while. Obviously, life, we can't control it. It happen. And it's been crazy, I'm sure, for everybody everywhere, especially since COVID but it's just. It definitely worth it to take the time and enjoy what's around you. And so how do you do that? What do you do? What are some of your favorite things to, you know, kind of close the laptop and take a break from work and get back to life again. [00:42:28] Speaker A: So I am the mother of five wonderful boys, and they are the most active young men. So I. If you don't find me in the salon, you can find me at a baseball or football fields nearby. We do a lot of sports. And I am a lover of the beach, 90s R B music and pizza. And I always say, I don't know that I trust many people who don't like pizza or the beach. So those are things that. That I love. And my brain is constantly working. I'm always working on something. There's never a dull moment, and I prefer it that way. So I have been actually actively working on my first book, which will be titled the Sobriety Buzz. And I'm aiming to finish that in the next few months because, again, I like to spend my time doing things that feel purposeful. So I'm writing a book. I. I'm an avid reader, and I like to party as long as I'm in bed by nine. [00:43:36] Speaker C: Right. Right. There's got to be a bedtime too. I feel that I had a. I was out of town for a work event last week, and there were after parties each day. And it got to like, the after party started at 10pm and so it got to like 11:30. And I was like, man, how are all of you people still standing? I'm ready to fall over and just go to bed right here. [00:43:58] Speaker A: We. We also love to vacation. I love to travel. Nowhere extravagant, but just, you know, hop on a plane, go to Florida. We just went on vacation, and my husband and I were so excited that every night we were in bed by nine and he's, you know, watching First 48 and I'm reading a book in bed and I'm like, this is the life, you know, so, you know, we, we like to work hard, but I don't even know that I say party or play hard. I really just like to be calm. And I think that in respect to living as a problem drinker for 21 years, I drank, I attracted a life of chaos. There was always something chaotic going on. There was always some, some, something happening. And you know, many years into my sobriety I realized that, oh my goodness, I was at the center of that chaos. I caused that, that chaos. And a few years into this, to sobriety, I, I kept saying I'm bored, I'm so bored. And I realized that I wasn't necessarily bored. I was safe and I was calm and I had to learn how to embrace that because prior to quitting drinking, I was always the life of the party and I was always, I was always up for something and there was no bad idea that I wasn't going to be at the fourth, the forefront of. And so I really thought that that was my personality. I thought that I was just this wild child. And it's been really powerful to realize that. I really do enjoy calm. I enjoy listening to the waves, reading a book, watching my kids do things and I don't have to have that excitement all the time. And that was a really big aha for me. Like I said, a few years into. [00:45:50] Speaker C: To being sober, completely understandable. I get that. And now I'm sure it's crazy but wonderful at the same time. [00:45:57] Speaker A: Yes. [00:45:58] Speaker C: And so just lastly, Vanessa, how can our viewers reach out to you? How can they get in contact? Whether they just want to come along for the ride or they would love to have your assistance. [00:46:11] Speaker A: Sure. So like I had mentioned earlier, I am very active on TikTok under the sobriety buzz and my website is www.thesobrietybuzz.com. so on on the website you can get information about sober coaching and what that looks like, how that works. I do offer my, my primary resource is a 90 day program where we meet virtually, you know, once a week and we set goals and we strategize and you know, move you forward. And 90 days is crucial because it is, it has been proven to be the most impactful for keeping longer term sobriety. So that is, those are ways you can reach me. I'm on all social media, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram. So I, I try to check those accounts often and really be accessible to people. [00:47:14] Speaker C: Incredible. Thank you so much for sharing everything today. It has been an absolute pleasure to talk to you. Greg. Talk about an incredible show today. [00:47:24] Speaker B: Yes, I, I have to say Vanessa, you touched on a lot of points that are salient not only to our viewers but myself and I know that we're going to get a lot of feedback from this show today. It's, it's something that affects some element of addiction affects just about every, every family in some form or fashion. It's been a great show. Kenzie. I, I, I, I love those last segments. You do a wonderful job on those. I think I'll be seeing you on the, on the big TV one day. Those are outstanding. And with that we'll call it a day. Thank you very much, Vanessa. Kenzie, my co host. Thank you. And with that we'll see you next week for another edition of Einstein's Disease.